Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
