This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
