Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
