i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
