i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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