I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
