I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
