i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
