im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
