have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
