i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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