A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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