She announced her abortion via fbk
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize