I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
