she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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