Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
