Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
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