My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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