You're my little dorito
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
