I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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