Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
