I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
