Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
