If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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