so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
