we're blogging at a bar
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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