I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
