so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I pour the whiskey from now on
The Olympian is in my bed
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
