i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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