I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
