I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
