whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
