Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
