oh god the rape fog is back!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
