How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
