Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
