I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
