Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she peed on how many people?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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