Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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