you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
