Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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