you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dear god my vagina.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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