i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
