Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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