some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
