Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
