He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
