Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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