shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
