I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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