I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
