This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
